Fashion Victim
by WISHESLIE
Summary: *complete* The Fashion Club enters a fashion contest, only to learn a little lesson: They have no fashion sense at all. Well, at least to the big shots. The moral: If you want nice clothes, shop at Cashmans. If you want desinger clothes: Go to France.


OPENING SONG  
  
la la la la la  
  
This is my stop  
  
Got to get off  
  
I may go pop  
  
Excuse me. Excuse me!  
  
I've got to be direct  
  
If I'm off please correct  
  
You're standing on my neck  
  
You're standing on my neck  
  
You're standing on my neck  
  
la la la la la  
  
la la la la la  
  
Daria in: "Fashion Victim"  
  
SEGMENT 1 OF "FASHION VICTIM"  
  
(SCENE - Quinn's bedroom. The Fashion Club are all seated. Quinn and Tiffany are  
  
on Quinn's bed, Sandi is standing near a mirror, and Stacy is sitting on the floor.  
  
Sandi: Okay everybody, this Fashion Club meeting has come to order. Did everyone  
  
read the newest issue of "Waif" magazine?  
  
Fashion Club nodds.  
  
Sandi (con't): What did we all think of it?  
  
Quinn: Well, that article about that contest seemed pretty interesting . . .  
  
Tiffany: Yahhh.  
  
Sandi: Stacy? Do you have any thoughts you'd like to share about anything?  
  
Stacy: Huh? Oh, yeah, that sounds like a *great* idea, Sandi!  
  
Sandi (impatiently): Sooooo?  
  
Stacy: So, um, lets enter the contest!  
  
Tiffany: That's a greaaat idea, Stacy.  
  
Sandi: Yeah, I'm surprised seeing as how you *looked* like you weren't paying  
  
attention.  
  
Stacy: Sorry Sandi.  
  
Sandi: You should be.  
  
Quinn: Now, all we have to do is . . . (makes a face) ew!  
  
Stacy (scared voice): WHAT?  
  
Quinn: Those boots that model is wearing are gray!  
  
Tiffany: Ewww.  
  
Sandi (takes "Waif" from Quinn): All we have to do is make ourselves the prettiest  
  
girls in the competition. Then, we'll win the vacation. Is everyone in favor?  
  
Fashion Club nodds.  
  
Sandi (con't): Good. Then lets get ready.  
  
(SCENE - The Lane house. Daria is sitting on Jane's bed, while Jane is painting.  
  
Sick Sad World is on the TV.)  
  
TV (SSW): What does your furniture do when you're not home? The *real* feng-shui,  
  
next on Sick Sad World.  
  
Daria (turns the TV off): Gee. I never thought about moving furniture before.  
  
Jane: That's TV for you. So why'd you come here now?  
  
Daria: Quinn's having the Fashion Club over. She told to come here. So I did.  
  
Jane: I see. So, do you like my painting?  
  
Daria (looks at painting): It's certainly interesting.  
  
Jane: I call it: "What *Really* Happened".  
  
Daria: Why do you call it that?  
  
Jane: I ran out of name ideas.  
  
Daria: Oh.  
  
Painting: Shows a bunch of shapes mixed together to form a noose around a lead  
  
block.  
  
Daria (con't): What's with the triangles?  
  
Jane: I didn't want them to feel left out.  
  
Daria: Oh.  
  
Jane: (smirks)  
  
END OF SEGMENT 1. COMMERCIAL BREAK WITH QUINN MAKING A FACE AT THE GRAY BOOTS WITH  
  
DARIA THEME BEING HUMMED IN THE BACKGROUND.  
  
(Commercial)  
  
Sick Sad World TV interview preview.  
  
Boy: And-and-and it was all gone! The dingoes had stolen my Danish Cupcake  
  
Mix!  
  
Announcer: Dingoes coming to your house and stealing your Danish food products.  
  
Next time on Sick Sad World.  
  
(End Commercial)  
  
SEGMENT 2 OF "FASHION VICTIM"  
  
(SCENE - Lawndale High. Quinn is talking with the 3 J's (Joey, Jeffy, Jamie)  
  
while Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy are discussing the contest (and Quinn).  
  
Quinn (trailing on): So then I said . . .  
  
3 J's: All laugh.  
  
Sandi: Ugh. Would you look at them drool all over Quinn?  
  
Tiffany: That is sooo wronggg.  
  
Stacy: So, what will we be wearing to the contest?  
  
Sandi (annoyed): Stacy, we're not talking about that now. It's *rude* to switch  
  
topics like that.  
  
Stacy (meakly): Sorry.  
  
Sandi: You *should* be.  
  
Brittany comes down the hall and stops near the Fashion Club, with Quinn who just  
  
joined them.  
  
Brittany: Have you seen Kevvy?  
  
Sandi (annoyed): Nooooo.  
  
Brittany: Has he been *flirting* with any of you?  
  
Sandi (annoyed): Nooooo.  
  
Brittany: Has he been-(is cut off by:)  
  
Quinn: Um, I think I saw him go that way. (points down another hallway)  
  
Brittany: Gee, thanks!  
  
Sandi (still annoyed): Bye.  
  
Quinn: Ew! Did you see that outfit that model, Christine What's-her-name was   
  
wearing? The one where she had on that plaid shirt with that pleated skirt?  
  
Tiffany: That outfit was sooo wronggg.  
  
Stacy: Yeah! It didn't fit her personality.  
  
Sandi (trails on): Okay, so lets discuss the outfits we're going to wear to the  
  
contest . . .  
  
(SCENE - Mr. DeMartino's history class.)  
  
Brittany enters, looking around.  
  
Brittany: Kevvy! There you are!  
  
Kevin: Hey babe!  
  
DeMartino: Miss. Taylor, WHY are you LATE to my class AGAIN?  
  
Brittany: I was looking for Kevvy!  
  
DeMartino: Well KEVIN has been HERE all ALONG!  
  
Daria and Jane exchange bored yet amused glances.  
  
DeMartino: SIT down!  
  
Brittany: (sits down)  
  
Daria (to Jane): Darn. I wish she would have been sick today.  
  
Jane: I agree completely.  
  
Jodie: Aw, come on Daria.  
  
Daria: She's too happy.  
  
Jodie: (sighs)  
  
Jane: I can't wait for art class. I have a great idea for this sculpture I've  
  
been thinking about.  
  
DeMartino: Miss. LANE, is there something about the BATTLE OF WASHINGTON you'd  
  
like to TALK ABOUT?  
  
Jane (sheepishly): Not really.  
  
DeMartino: THEN, I suggest you pay ATTENTION!  
  
END OF SEGMENT 2. COMMERCIAL BREAK WITH MR. DEMARTINO'S EYEBALL POPPING OUT   
  
AND BRITTANY LOOKING OVER AT KEVIN WITH THE DARIA THEME BEING HUMMED AGAIN.  
  
(Commercial)  
  
Daria: Are you bored with the same old paintings? Then come on down to Jane's,  
  
where you'll find all of her original work.  
  
Jane (inside "Jane's" which is actually just a basement): So come on down and   
  
take a look around at . . .  
  
Daria and Jane (outside Lane house): Jane's.  
  
Daria: What a bad commercial.  
  
Jane: Yeah, but it's good publicity.  
  
(End Commercial)  
  
SEGMENT 3 OF "FASHION VICTIM"  
  
(SCENE - A photo shoot somewhere. All sorts of models have entered the contest.  
  
The Fashion Club is at the end of the line.  
  
Tiffany: Does this dress make me look fat?  
  
Sandi (sighs): No, Tiffany.  
  
Stacy: Not at all!  
  
Quinn: No, Tiffany.  
  
Tiffany: Are you surrrre?  
  
Sandi (sighs again): *Positive*!  
  
Quinn: Deffinately sure.  
  
Stacy: Of course we're sure!  
  
Quinn: When are they going to take a look at our outfits? Mine might wrinkle soon!  
  
Sandi: Gee Quinn, that'd be too bad.  
  
Quinn (not getting the sarcasm): I *know*!  
  
Stacy: Is my hair alright, Sandi?  
  
Sandi (sighs): *Yes* Stacy.  
  
Stacy: Quinn?  
  
Quinn: Sure, Stacy.  
  
Stacy: Tiffany?  
  
Tiffany: Yahhh.  
  
Studio Guy: Sandi Griffin, Quinn (sounds it out) Mor-gen-dor-ffer, Stacy Rowe and  
  
Tiffany Blum-Deckler?  
  
Sandi: That's us.  
  
Studio Guy: Hello. I'm Mr. Daniel Lorr. The contest is this way.  
  
Lorr leads the Fashion Club to a studio room where a man is talking to a model.  
  
Stacy: Ew! Look at her outfit!  
  
Tiffany: It is sooo wronggg.  
  
Model runs off crying.  
  
Quinn (calls after her): You forgot to put on makeup!  
  
Man: Hello. I'm Timothy Harlen, the director of the "Wannabe" contest. I've heard  
  
about you all.  
  
Stacy (whispers): We're famous!  
  
Sandi: Really?  
  
Harlen: Yes, but I thought you'd look better than that.  
  
Sandi: What?  
  
Harlen: You call those outfits "in style"? Those are so last season.  
  
Stacy: But-but-they were featured in "Waif" magazine! Everybody wears these kinds  
  
of outfits!  
  
Harlen: You all read "Waif"? (laughs)  
  
Sandi: What's so *funny* about that?  
  
Harlen: Well, it's just that "Waif" magazine is a fashion don't! (laughs again)  
  
Tiffany: But we sawwwww your ad in therrrrre.  
  
Harlen: Let me let you in on a little secret: Buy clothes from France. Everything  
  
else is just "wannabe" clothes.  
  
Quinn: But the *name* of the contest is *called* Wannabe!  
  
Harlen (laughs): Isn't that funny?!  
  
Sandi: No.  
  
Harlen (calls over Lorr): Please take these ladies out of my sight.  
  
Lorr: Right away.  
  
Lorr and the Fashion Club leave.  
  
(SCENE - The Griffin's living room. The TV is showing FashionVision: Secrets of  
  
the Supermodels. The Fashion Club are sitting on the couch.)  
  
Sandi: Maybe we should go to another desinger store.  
  
Tiffany: Yahh.  
  
Stacy: Or maybe we should just make up our own fashion line!  
  
Sandi: Stacy, what are you thinking? We buy the latest fashions, then we act like  
  
they're ours. Geez, Stacy.  
  
Stacy: Sorry, Sandi.  
  
Sandi: You should be.  
  
Quinn (reading the latest issue of "Waif"): Look at her hair! It's been dyed three  
  
times. Ew!  
  
Tiffany: That is soo wronggg.  
  
Sandi: All in favor of forgetting that meeting with those guys never happened and  
  
never speaking of it again.  
  
The Fashion Club nodds.  
  
Sandi: Good.  
  
END OF SEGMENT 3. END OF THE FANFIC.  
  
Alter Egos: 2 of Daria, 1 of Jane, 3 of Quinn, 3 of Sandi, 1 of Brittany, 1 of  
  
Tiffany, and 2 of Stacy.  
  
[Closing Song: Beautiful by Christina Aguilera  
  
Don't look at me  
  
Every day is so wonderful  
  
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe  
  
Now and then, I get insecure  
  
From all the fame, I'm so ashamed  
  
I am beautiful no matter what they say  
  
Words can't bring me down  
  
I am beautiful in every single way  
  
Yes, words can't bring me down  
  
So don't you bring me down today  
  
To all your friends, you're delirious  
  
So consumed in all your doom  
  
Trying hard to fill the emptiness  
  
The piece is gone and the puzzle undone  
  
That's the way it is  
  
You are beautiful no matter what they say  
  
Words won't bring you down  
  
You are beautiful in every single way  
  
Yes, words won't bring you down  
  
Don't you bring me down today…  
  
No matter what we do   
  
(no matter what we do)  
  
No matter what they say   
  
(no matter what they say)  
  
When the sun is shining through  
  
Then the clouds won't stay  
  
And everywhere we go   
  
(everywhere we go)  
  
The sun won't always shine   
  
(sun won't always shine)  
  
But tomorrow will find a way   
  
All the other times  
  
We are beautiful no matter what they say  
  
Yes, words won't bring us down  
  
We are beautiful no matter what they say  
  
Yes, words can't bring us down  
  
Don't you bring me down today  
  
Don't you bring me down today  
  
Don't you bring me down today]  
  
Disclaimer: None of the Daria characters belong to me. They belong to MTV and  
  
The-N. 


End file.
